Hop Along

Today I walked around the whole day with NO crutches!!! I can't say there was no discomfort involved but I feel like I'm free! In honor of this I thought I would share some of the 'crutchisims' I've had to endure over the last 8 weeks. For those of you who have been on crutches I hope you'll laugh because you get it and for those of you who haven't, I hope you'll just learn to walk more carefully and never ski again so you never have to :)
1. When going to bed make sure you put your crutch next to you so you don't have to ask your 3 year old to get it for you. When he can't find it in the dark (since he's up at 6 am and it's still dark) realize he wont be that concerned and will tell you "OK, just hop on one foot Mommy".
2. When it's time to make breakfast, just serve Pop tarts. Because when you try to get the cereal and milk to the table but can't carry them while holding crutches, you will have to toss the cereal box across the room to the table while hoping it doesn't explode when it hits and repeat for the milk (unless you slide it across the floor while pushing it with one crutch).
3.  Don't be a hero! When your loving family takes you out to lunch but doesn't bring the crutches and then your brother decides to park as far away from the door as possible (probably to get exercise) instead of dropping you off. Don't say "It's okay, I'll just hop". Insist they get the damn wheelchair out and push you. If you decide to be a hero: when your hopping back to the car and the pain is too much don't start hopping faster to get there faster, you WILL fall!
4. There is no comfortable way to sleep with a giant boot on, with it elevated on 5 pillows on your back. Just so you know.
5.  Your crutch is not a limb. Therefore, you cannot feel other people's toes under them and those people will not appreciate have their toes crushed.
6. If you have children they will now consider you permanently disabled since they have short memories. You will probably hear things on a regular basis like "before you broke your foot..." and "You can't do that now because your foot is broken"
7.  If your spouse is being naughty, crutches make a very good beating stick and they can reach farther than an arm.
8. Someone without a broken leg invented public restrooms. The Handicapped stall is at the far end of the bathroom which if you made it to the bathroom chances are making it all the way down there will not be an option. Also the soap, water and towel are all too dang far from each other. You have to hold onto your crutches, get soap, then wash then do a 180 and walk 5 steps (with wet hands, while holding crutches) to get the towels- What the heck?! On second thought, just carry a diaper and hand sanitizer.
9. Last but least, get used to being called "Hop along" or some variation for the next 8 weeks.

Here are the kids walking 5 minutes in my shoes- per se